Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Frustrations of Being The Man

What's good? You wanna know? A father who loves his family and does whatever he can to hold them down even if they at times treat him as if he ain't ish. At work today I was asked if I heard about pro wrestler, Chris Benoit, who killed his wife, son and himself? Nah I didn't hear about it. I seldom watch the news or listen to the radio so what I'm up on is not tainted by advertising agendas.

Still this current event messed me up because all I can think about was the treasure of having a family, a life and to throw it away for what usually is a temporary problem. The other day a lady hanged herself and her daughters from what I heard was a financial issue. I'm broke, you broke, we all broke, but we do what we gotta to maintain. And where's Grandma and Auntie?
I'm thankful that I got my mother-in-law in my life because ther have been times we had nothing to eat, no way to get to work or school and she would look out for us.

If it weren't for God in my life I would be ghostface a long time ago. I've turned down opportunities to get better jobs outta state that would keep me away from home for months. There was a situation where I was hired to be the main DJ in a big club in Austin that I had to painfully reject to do what was best for the security of my home. Then there is always the temptation of runnin' up the no-question asking cake pieces you encounter in everyday life.

The Lord is my strength and if it kills me I'll stay in my position as Husband and Father, but I'm not gonna kill me self. I'll check in to a psych ward before I go that crazy. To all of you that have families or want one; remember your pain and struggle is worth it at the end of the day. Your family is counting on you because everybody else is gonna let them down. Watch.